There is a pretty good chance that you have some kind of a mental illness, and the truth of the situation is that this illness would most likely be making it really difficult for you to feel any real kind of joy in your life on a more or less regular basis. This is because of the fact that you would not really enjoy any of the things that you decide to take part in, to the point where even the prospect of going onto a party bus and enjoying yourself with all of your friends is not going to make you feel anything that is truly worthwhile at all.
The fact of the matter is that you have paid good money to rent a Bakersfield CA party bus with people that you love and who appreciate and accept you for who you are, so one thing that you might want to consider doing before you actually go onto this party bus would be to go to your therapist and have a session that will bring all of the mental anguish that you are currently suffering from out in the open.
When you do this, you would basically be emptying your head of the countless thoughts that might be weighing you down, and the major benefit of this is that you would have a clear state of mind to base all of your interactions on once your party bus experience actually ends up giving you all that you had hoped for. Sometime like this is pretty simple for you to do which is why we would recommend that you try it out before moving on with anything in this regard.